Love

I never know how to feel about Valentine’s Day. I remember the first Valentine I got in third grade. I was embarrassed, thrilled and proud. I remember what he said when I asked him why he gave it to me. “Why wouldn’t I? You’re the coolest girl in the class.” Probably the best compliment I ever got and ever will from a guy. Those were the days. Simple and romantic. I was a day dreamer – big time. I imagined all sorts of scenarios for my life. All included a husband, a classic Colonial and kids playing in the yard as I watched them from the kitchen window while I made dinner and my husband would wrap his arms around me and watch our children with me. To me, a station wagon full of kids, a man I would love forever, and the well appointed, aforementioned center hall Colonial with a rose garden and trellis and a long, winding, moss edged blue stone path….well, it was a nice day dream riding on the school bus every day.

I thought I would get there. I did get married once, right after a bad breakup with my first, real love. He was probably the elusive “One” but things didn’t work out. So, on the rebound I met someone else. Got engaged and had really beautiful wedding. Thus ends the fairy tale. He was most definitely not the One. He wasn’t even close. So, as Tracy Samantha Lord would say, “I thought it was for life, but the nice judge gave me an early parole.” Thank heavens.

I concentrated on my career. I put love on hold. I was (and to be honest, still am) a bit shell shocked from the 18 month prison sentence of a marriage. I dated some lovely men. Of all of them, only one made Valentine’s Day a special day. It never seemed a big deal to me after the ads they ran for it began to resemble escort services. Have you seen them? “Buy her a hoody-footy pajama set and she will keep you warm all night.” “Get her a diamond and get lucky.” What ever happened to romance?

If any men read this blog, listen to me: get her flowers if you want. But if you really want to win her over, take some time and THINK. Write her something beautiful. Do something that has meaning. Tell her something that you know she wants to hear but you have been afraid to say. Win her over with honest emotion. Gentle loving words composed by you are what will win her heart. Women don’t need expensive gifts on Valentine’s Day. They want you to show emotion, break down that barrier you have up… a pair of footy pajamas just ain’t gonna do it, babe.

I never got the dream life I wanted. Cancer took care of that. No kids. No house. No husband. Well, I can’t blame cancer on the no husband. I blame myself. I am, in a word, a long day. Not easy to date, I admit it. I used to be. I would spoil men like they were the last men on earth. But age, a life threatening disease, and waking the hell up has actually had me say out loud for anyone who will hear me, I would like, just once, a man to be as good to me as I am to him. Is that too much to ask? I don’t think so. I want a man who is not so self-involved he can’t see anything but himself. I do so much for the guys I date. I would just like it to be duet instead of a solo. If it was, we could turn it into an incredible symphony.

So boys, if you are still reading, take a look at Bruce’s lyrics below. Sweep her off her feet with emotion, passion, and words from your heart. Then you will have yourself a Valentine. And girls- don’t blame cancer on everything. Yes, I have no kids because of cancer. I rent a cottage and don’t own that house I dreamed up as a kid. But my cottage is awesome. My life is full. And I still believe in love and so should you. If you are not dating anyone right now, that’s okay. He is out there. Yes. He. Is. Open your heart and you will find him. Then love him, but make sure he loves you back the way you deserve to be loved. The way all of us deserve it.

Go Classic Passion- win her heart, mind and body

And never forget The Gospel According to Bruce

The screen door slams, Mary’s dress waves
Like a vision she dances across the porch as the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey that’s me and I want you only
Don’t turn me home again
I just can’t face myself alone again
Don’t run back inside, darling you know just what I’m here for
So you’re scared and you’re thinking that maybe we ain’t that young anymore
Show a little faith, there’s magic in the night
You ain’t a beauty, but hey you’re alright
Oh and that’s alright with me

You can hide ‘neath your covers and study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers, throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain for a saviour to rise from these streets
Well now I’m no hero, that’s understood
All the redemption I can offer, girl, is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey what else can we do now
Except roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair
Well the night’s bustin’ open, these two lanes will take us anywhere
We got one last chance to make it real
To trade in these wings on some wheels
Climb in back, heaven’s waiting down on the tracks

Oh oh come take my hand
Riding out tonight to case the promised land
Oh oh oh oh Thunder Road, oh Thunder Road, oh Thunder Road
Lying out there like a killer in the sun
Hey I know it’s late, we can make it if we run
Oh oh oh oh Thunder Road, sit tight, take hold, Thunder Road

Well I got this guitar and I learned how to make it talk
And my car’s out back if you’re ready to take that long walk
From your front porch to my front seat
The door’s open but the ride it ain’t free
And I know you’re lonely for words that I ain’t spoken
Tonight we’ll be free, all the promises will be broken
There were ghosts in the eyes of all the boys you sent away
They haunt this dusty beach road in the skeleton frames of burned-out Chevrolets
They scream your name at night in the street
Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet
And in the lonely cool before dawn
You hear their engines roaring on
But when you get to the porch they’re gone on the wind, so Mary climb in
It’s a town full of losers, I’m pulling out of here to win

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