It’s Not About Angelina’s Breasts

“This positively infantile preoccupation with bosoms. In all time in this wretched Godforsaken country, the one thing that has appalled me most of all is this preposterous preoccupation with bosoms. Don’t you realize they have become the dominant theme in American culture: in literature, advertising and all fields of entertainment and everything. I’ll wager you anything you like that if American women stopped wearing brassieres, your whole national economy would collapse overnight.”

- J. Algernon Hawthorne, “It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”

I woke up this morning not to the news of Benghazi, the murder conviction of Dr. Gosnell or of the AP’s phones being tapped, but rather with the blockbuster headline that Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy. This was the lead story at a time when the media is so jammed with breaking news events it is hard to keep them all straight.

Ms. Jolie wrote an Op-Ed in the New York Times to tell of her ordeal. She discovered that she is at an increased risk of developing breast cancer because she is a carrier of the BRCA1 gene mutation and that her mother died at a young age from cancer. She could have chosen the “watch and wait” approach of monitoring her breasts until cancer appeared, or she could be proactive with her health and remove as much breast tissue as possible to reduce her risk of breast cancer to five percent. Nothing is 100%. It is impossible to remove every last bit of breast tissue, that is why you hear of women post mastectomy who still get regional recurrences. But a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy is really the best way to even the playing field when you have a family history and carry the gene mutation.

As for her ovaries, that is something else she will have to contend with. That decision is not any easier and the onset of sudden menopause is something to consider.

All of this is not news to those of us on the front lines of breast cancer. If I had known that I would get breast cancer not once, but twice, and have to undergo chemotherapy twice, radiation twice, lumpectomy and all the other other surgeries, I would have made the exact same decision. I never felt so clean and free as I did the day I woke up from my bilateral mastectomy. I felt relief. But I had cancer. Getting it off of me couldn’t have happened fast enough.  This article is not even about the science of it or her choices.  It is about how her story is being covered.

I listened to male newscasters as I was getting ready this morning and had more male newscasters on the radio as I drove. They were all saying the same thing: Her choice was “drastic!” She is “brave to risk her career in this way!” She is a “beauty symbol, what will happen now?!” What do think will happen now, Champ? She will wake up in the morning (next to Brad Pitt) and climb out of bed and do whatever she does all day: make movies, play with her kids, sulk, laugh, let’s see, am I forgetting something? Oh yes, she will LIVE.

When you think of Angelina Jolie, do you think,”Wow, what great breasts?” No. For me, if I were to think of Angelina Jolie, I think of  Brad Pitt, her beautiful face, Brad Pitt, her long flowing hair, Brad Pitt,  her enviable figure, Brad Pitt, her acting talent, and, finally, Jennifer Aniston. The press, however, is suddenly making her a freak of nature. The men I heard talking on the airwaves came very close to saying that her career and life were over because she had breast tissue removed. I’ve got news for them: It’s Not About The Breasts. And even if it was, she can expect the very best outcome from her reconstruction because her body has not been ravaged by chemo and radiation and she was able to have a nipple sparing mastectomy. The results are beautiful in her scenario.

Women are made of hearts and souls and intellects and they come packaged in all shapes and sizes. It’s what is inside them that matters. Breasts or no breasts, she is still a woman. The tragedy here is NOT the loss of Angelina Jolie’s breasts. It is the loss of the millions of women who have died from breast cancer. The women who found their tumors too late. The women who found their tumors early and it still killed them. The women with and without the BRCA 1 or 2 gene mutation. The moms, the sisters, the lovers, the wives and the daughters who are gone now. I mourn for them. I do not mourn for the surgeries.

I salute Ms. Jolie for bringing this public because she may help other women who are undecided about this procedure. Now, it would be nice if insurance would cover breast reconstruction for women who have prophylactic surgery to save their lives. It would be even nicer if the cost of the BRCA test was not $3,000 and insurance covered it. It would be fantastic if instead of ruminating about an actress’ breasts the world took a look at where we are spending our money and how we can place a predator drone over the bathtub of radical despot and take him out without knocking over his toothbrush, but we cannot seem to find a way to locate a tumor before it kills one of our own.

And so we keep fighting.  We have to keep doing what we are doing and monitor ourselves as closely as we can. And if you get breast cancer, you will get through it. And if you  have worries about your self image or the side effects from sudden menopause from removing your ovaries, you’ll get through that, too. The No Surrender Breast Cancer Foundation is here for you and so is the book Intimacy After Breast Cancer, Dealing with Your Body, Relationships and Sex. If you have a strong family history or think you may carry the gene mutation, I suggest a visit to FORCE as well.

Let’s shift the focus from Angelina somehow being “diminished” to Angelina being smart and proactive. It can start with you today. When the subject comes up, and it will, and your companions are talking about how “drastic” this was for her and “Oh my what will ever become of her?” Take them to task. It’s about living. She chose to live her life without the shadow of cancer looming over her and preventing her own children from feeling the devastating loss of losing their mom to cancer like she did.  I lost a dear friend on Mother’s Day to breast cancer. If she had known what would happen to her, I know she would have done exactly what Angelina did. So tell your friends about Lee and then they will hopefully see the loss of breast tissue is nothing compared to the loss of a woman.

My Gatsby

“In my younger and more vulnerable years” I sat on the beach in front of my house and read my homework assignment for English class. It was The Great Gatsby. As I read Fitzgerald’s beautiful descriptions of the landscape it felt like home. After a glance up at the “great wet barnyard of Long Island Sound” followed by some research at the historical society, I discovered it was home. My home. Not only did I have a personal connection now with this magnificent novel, but I fell in love with it. I studied it through college. I wrote my thesis on it.  I even  wrote a version of it for the stage. I know and love the music of the era. I know and collect the clothes. And I lived where it was written.

Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald rented a house in Great Neck in the 20′s. At the end of Great Neck, jutting out into the Sound is Kings Point, what would become West Egg, where he set the location for Gatsby’s house. However, he wrote about two houses in East Egg, what is known as Sands Point, that were separated by a crescent shaped stretch of beach. One was Gatsby’s and the other was Daisy’s. My house was in the center of that crescent beach.

He describes Gatsby’s house as “a colossal affair by any standard — it was a factual imitation of some Hotel de Ville in Normandy, with a tower on one side, spanking new under a thin beard of raw ivy, and a marble swimming pool, and more than forty acres of lawn and garden.”

This is the house :

The house, known as Beacon Towers, is gone now. Razed in the 1940s. However, its tall garden walls, gate house, clock tower and garages still stand.

Many people believe that Land’s End, the Stanford White colonial at the other end of the crescent beach, was the setting for Daisy’s house. But that is because they don’t know about Belcaro, the house that stood on a bluff in front of it. It, too, was razed long ago. Land’s End was certainly one of “glittering white palaces of East Egg” that Fitzgerald writes about. He spent time in that house as a guest and from there he had a perfect view of Belcaro and Beacon Towers.

He describes Daisy’s house as “a cheerful red-and-white Georgian Colonial mansion, overlooking the bay. The lawn started at the beach and ran toward the front door for a quarter of a mile, jumping over sun-dials and brick walks and burning gardens — finally when it reached the house drifting up the side in bright vines as though from the momentum of its run. The front was broken by a line of French windows, glowing now with reflected gold and wide open to the warm windy afternoon.”

I have the original real estate brochure from the sale of Belcaro and those lines could be used to describe the photos inside it. Here is Belcaro:

The gardens are almost exactly the way Fitzgerald tells us they are. The French doors that let in the evening breeze the night Nick Carraway arrived at the Buchanan’s house are there. The house you see behind it is Land’s End.

Belcaro directly faced the crescent beach and Beacon Towers. This is how the two homes were situated:

Beacon Towers is gone, Belcaro is gone, Land’s End is gone. My house is gone, too. It was razed in the ’90′s to become a cement and stone monstrosity.  But I love the memories of those days spent in Sands Point. I feel lucky that I was able to see some of these houses, or what remained of them, that dotted the coast from my house to Glen Cove, Lattingtown, Mill Neck, Oyster Bay and on to Lloyd Harbor. I remember in high school, when we were allowed to leave campus, my friends and I would eat our lunches in the remains of a “play house” on a ledge overlooking the indoor tennis court. The glass ceiling was shattered, the weeds had taken over, but you if you listened very quietly, you could hear the faint sound of music and laughter.

I suppose you thought I would be writing about the book. Not today. This post is part geography and part history in honor of the beautiful past of Long Island’s Gold Coast. I will write about F. Scott Fitzgerald and his stunning novel. There is so much to write, it will take many, many posts. I have a lot to say about Gatsby, but not now.

As for the new movie version that is opening this week, I have my reservations but ” I’m inclined to reserve all judgments” because “not everyone in this world has had the same advantages as I’ve had” growing up on the beach that separated Gatsby from Daisy.

Valentines. Napkins Optional

Napkins are Optional

Way back, in the mists of time, I was a chef. I loved cooking and creating interesting menus for my clients and for my friends and family at home. Before I owned my own catering company,  I worked for another caterer. One day the head chef and I were asked to create a special menu for the upcoming Valentine Week. It was to be a take away, three course meal people could warm up when they got it home. The head chef and I were very much alike and needless to say, we got a little carried away. We thought the menu was a hit because putting it together was so much fun. My partner in crime looked like he stepped out of central casting: “Sun-kissed, California Surfer-boy.” Handsome face, strong, well toned body and a bit of the devil in him.  (A match made in heaven.)

Ultimately, our menu was not accepted by our bosses. It was “too much and wholly inappropriate.” It didn’t matter. It was the creating that was the fun part.

A year later, when I started my own business, I put it on my own Valentine’s menu and it became a favorite among my clients and they asked for it every year. I will list it below and I want you to think about it. There really is something between a couple who gets together to make something fun and exciting. That is what Valentine’s Day should be about- not what you see advertised on television. Valentine’s Day should be a group activity where you do things together- to benefit together as you share the love you feel for each other -  together.

Trust me.

Men: Don’t waste your money on the gigantic teddy bear that is being advertised now with the tag line that insinuates this overstuffed doll will guarantee you will get lucky on Thursday night. Do you want to win over a woman? Get out a piece of paper and some colored pens and draw (yes, draw) a picture on one half, fold it over and write- that means using your own words- and tell her how you feel about her. And ladies? That goes for you, too. Don’t forget to do something romantic for him. This is a duet of which you are an active participant.

And for you singles out there… Do you fancy someone? Get up the courage and invite them over. Tell them about this menu you want to try cooking with him/her. I can tell you that it is guaranteed to, at the very least, get your mind in the right place and maybe in the process win over a heart. I know it can. How? Let’s just say I learned a lot about surfing after creating this menu.

First Course

Peel Me Shrimp

Second Course

Oh Baby Lamb Chops

Hot Firm Asparagus

Dessert

Deeply Double Dip Strawberries

 

What you Don’t Need: Utensils

The entire thing is eaten with your hands.

What you do need:

12 jumbo shrimp, with the shell on (boiled for 2 minutes, served with shell ON)

Cocktail sauce (ketchup, horseradish, lemon juice, black pepper)

8 Baby Lamb Chops  (Ask your butcher to cut them from a rack of lamb for you and to dress the legs. Broil with olive oil, herbs de provence until medium rare)

16 Asparagus (peeled, boiled until bright green and still hard, then plunged into ice water to retain color)

12 Large, plump, juicy strawberries (melt a good chocolate in the microwave for a few seconds, dip tip into chocolate, place on parchment paper to cool and serve with whipped cream for more dipping)

Setting

Set up a picnic on the floor near the fireplace. Don’t have a fireplace? Make a romantic area with lit candles. Be careful they are extinguished if you leave the room. (Set them on a mirror you lay on the floor to increase their light and to protect your floor or carpet.)

Libations

Champagne of course!

Happy Valentine’s Day – make me proud of you!!

 

Being Honored In New Orleans

Beth Borden-Goodman, Gina Maisano, Jodi Olson, Doria Arias, Danielle Beverly

In a convention center the size of an airport, along the banks of the Mississippi River, thousands of doctors along with their staff and family members, took a moment to honor not just me, but four of our sisters. These doctors, who have spent years training and practicing their art, were applauding us. I wish I could bottle up the love in that room and give it to everyone.

Doctors are all too often portrayed as cold and impersonal. But these guys? They have dedicated their lives to making our lives better. One would think that a gathering of the national convention of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons would be a room full of 90210 slicksters. But they weren’t. These dedicated professionals spend their time trying to find ways to create the most natural reconstructed breasts so we can feel better about ourselves; they discovered what tissues and tendons they can use to give someone back the use of an amputated finger; they pioneered protocol to rebuild tracheas of patients who have been terribly burned that without their doctor, they would be forced to breathe through a tracheotomy tube for the rest of their lives.

Dr. Ron Israeli and Gina Maisano

These doctors are warm, engaged and interested in more than any monetary gain their profession yields them. They truly care about US. And they know how to party.

The evening started with all five of the 2012 Patients of Courage meeting in the lobby of New Orleans jewel of a hotel, The Monteleone, where they put us up as their guests. This year they were honoring breast reconstruction patients. They asked us to wear pink and we were ready for our closeups. Literally. We took a little bus over to the convention center for the pre-ceremony meet and greet. Doctors started to come over to us and introduce themselves. They knew who we were, but we didn’t know who they were. They had the advantage because they had seen our “videos.” A few months back a film crew came to each of our homes to film us in our day to day lives and to hear our stories. None of us knew what our videos were going to be like. But it seemed like the doctors who had seen ours knew us better than we knew ourselves.

We then proceeded to this gigantic room with three movie theater size screens surrounding the stage and the opening ceremonies began. Interspersed with the past year’s accomplishments of the ASPS, each of our videos played. There was Dora, and Beth and Danielle and Kim and finally me. It really is amazing to see yourself Jumbo-tron size. (And I noted that the old saying that the camera adds 10 pounds is not true. It adds 20.)

Mardi Gras World, location of our After Party

After the last video played, they presented us with our awards, the 2012 Patients of Courage award, and we all stood in a line on the stage, and the doctors who gave us our very lives back, stood up and applauded us. Applauded US? We should have applauded them! It was incredibly moving and not easy to keep from crying. If subsequent weird looking pictures are posted, my smile is a smile of me gritting my teeth and trying desperately to will myself to not cry.

Afterwards, we all marched over to Mardi Gras world and wandered around the floats in a surreal atmosphere. The party followed and all of us felt like celebrities. I cannot tell you how many people came up to me to thank me and congratulate me. I met doctors from all over the country and even one from Israel. The band was playing zydeco and disco. Suffice it to say I was in heaven. The music spilled out to the esplanade where the barges silently moved up the river. The moon hung low in the sky. The New Orleans air was sweet and humid and I did not want the evening to end.

Gina Maisano and Dora Arias

It has always been my dream to go to New Orleans. I never imagined it would have been breast cancer that got me there.

I felt like I was not alone up there on that stage. Not only was I with my other honorees, all beautiful sisters, but I was representing us. I was also representing my doctor, Dr. Ron Israeli,  and his incredible talent and all that he has done for me over the years. You may not have known it, but y’all were in the Big Easy on October 26 and I share this award with each of you.

Our videos may be seen here:

Two Chances to Chat about BraDay USA

What is BraDay USA all about?

Breast reconstruction after mastectomy may not be your personal choice- but we believe you should be informed of your options. Did you know that  7 out of 10 women eligible for breast reconstruction are not being informed of their options? ALL women should know what their choices are.  This needs to be done on many levels. All women should know that there is a federal law that makes it illegal for their insurance providers to not cover breast reconstruction.

Recent studies have revealed that:

•    Eighty-nine percent of women want to see what breast reconstruction surgery results before undergoing cancer treatment.

•    Less than a quarter (23 percent) of women know the wide range of breast reconstruction options available.

•    Only 22 percent of women are familiar with the quality of outcomes that can be expected.

•    Only 19 percent of women understand that the timing of their treatment for breast cancer and the timing of their decision to undergo reconstruction greatly impacts their options and results.

“We want to bring the topic of breast reconstruction into the larger breast cancer dialogue,” said ASPS President Malcolm Z. Roth, MD. “Letting women know their reconstruction options before or at the time of diagnosis is critically important to improving life after breast cancer. BRA Day USA is all about inspiring women who are on the road to recovery to a full life beyond breast cancer.”

This year, the U.S. and more than 20 other countries will join an international effort to close the loop on breast cancer, to ensure that all patients are fully informed of their surgical options and supported by a team of medical professionals working together for the patient’s best interest. Here in the U.S., supporters and survivors are planning more than 80 BRA Day USA events across the country in cities including New York, Chicago, Miami and Los Angeles.

The No Surrender Breast Cancer Foundation is a proud participant in these events.

Two Chances to Chat!
Gina Maisano, founder of the No Surrender Breast Cancer Foundation and author of “Intimacy After Breast Cancer” will be chatting live on Twitter and Facebook with two world renowned breast reconstruction surgeons:

ON MONDAY, OCTOBER 15th at 8PM EDT

Join  ASPS Member Surgeon Frank DellaCroce, MD, on Twitter chat where he will answer important questions about breast reconstruction.  Join in using #BRAdaychat.

ON WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 17th at 2 PM

Join Redbook magazine, ASPS Member Surgeon Ron Israeli, MD, and his breast reconstruction patient, author and non-profit founder Gina Maisano for a Facebook chat on October 17 at 2 p.m. EDT.

Grammy award winning recording artist Jewel has written a very special song about breast reconstruction. She is the ambassador of BraDay USA.

7 Out of 10 Women are Not Informed of their Breast Reconstruction Choices

The No Surrender Breast Cancer Foundation is proud to be a part of Breast Reconstruction Awareness day, October 17th, 2012.

A sneak peak appeared in today’s NY Post.

A Wonderful Honor

On October 26th, I will be honored with four amazing women who are all breast cancer survivors who had reconstruction and took their disease and turned it into something positive- reaching out to help others. I am grateful for the chance to introduce the work No Surrender does to such a large audience and quite excited to be whisked away to The Big Easy!

First time all honorees are breast reconstruction patients

For Immediate Release: 10/09/2012

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ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, Ill. – For the first time, all five recipients of the annual Patients of Courage: Triumph Over Adversity awards are breast reconstruction patients. These patients from across the country will receive their awards from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) and Mentor Worldwide LLC. In celebration of the first annual Breast Reconstruction Awareness (BRA) Day USA, this year’s awards recognize breast cancer patients who have undergone breast reconstruction and use their experiences to help other women facing breast cancer and mastectomy. The awards will be presented during Plastic Surgery The Meeting, ASPS’ annual scientific conference, at the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center in New Orleans on October 26.

“Our Patients of Courage are an annual reminder of the strength of the human spirit,” said ASPS President Malcolm Z. Roth, MD. “The group of women honored this year represent the tenacity of women everywhere who battle breast cancer, survive it, then go on to help and inspire their mothers, sisters, and strangers to beat it too.”

The Patients of Courage: Triumph Over Adversity awards recognize inspirational reconstructive plastic surgery patients who use their experiences, strength and determination to help others in need and give back to their communities through charitable work.

“This year’s award recipients have demonstrated amazing resilience in the face of adversity. That resilience and willingness to share their stories provides inspiration to the thousands of women and men who face similar challenges every day,” said David Wilson, Worldwide President, Mentor Worldwide LLC. “Mentor has a long history of supporting breast cancer patients as they navigate the decision-making process following a cancer diagnosis. We feel privileged to be able to contribute to their healing process and provide options to fully restore their authentic beauty.”

Continuing in the spirit of giving, The Plastic Surgery Foundation, with the support of Mentor, is donating $5,000 to five non-profit organizations to be named by each of the Patients of Courage.

The 2012 Patients of Courage honorees are:

Danielle Beverly of Buford, Georgia
There is no good time to get cancer, but there are some times that are particularly bad. Danielle Beverly was just 3 weeks away from giving birth to her first baby when she learned she had breast cancer-for the third time. Well, Beverly survived to be a great mom and, as the wife of a former NFL player, she’s leveraging her position to help other women fighting breast cancer. The Eric R. Beverly Family Foundation takes care of the economic and social needs of families of uninsured or underinsured breast cancer patients. Their foundation assists with treatment-related costs like co-pays, prescriptions, transportation and childcare.

Gina Maisano of Oyster Bay, New York
With a poor prognosis, New Yorker Gina Maisano was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer just three days before 9/11. She actually saw one of the planes fly over her head. In the days that followed, Maisano watched what happened to the Twin Towers and said, “Those people never had a chance to fight, but I do.”

The devastation of her diagnosis turned to determination. She authored The No Surrender Battlefield Guide to Fighting and Surviving Breast Cancer. This book, accompanied by her new online support forum and comprehensive website, provide answers to questions that newly diagnosed women might have. Maisano formed a non-profit known as The No Surrender Breast Cancer Foundation, which now runs the online resource NoSurrenderBreastCancerHelp.org. More recently, she wrote her second book: Intimacy After Breast Cancer; Dealing with Your Body, Your Relationships and Sex. In it, she takes a close look at sexuality and intimacy as breast cancer survivors shift their focus from battling for their lives to preparing for their future.

Dora Arias of Mountainside, New Jersey
Overwhelmed with fear and consumed by darkness, Dora Arias fought breast cancer at age 39. It was a battle hard won, but in the fight she developed a passion to help other women with breast cancer. In particular, women who didn’t have the same support she did. Fluent in both Spanish and English, Dora launched the non-profit Curémonos, which means healing together. Now in its third year, the organization reaches out to medically underserved women who experience more difficulty due to financial instability, language barriers and cultural differences. Arias was also named one of the Models of Courage for Ford’s Warriors in Pink Program.

Beth Borden-Goodman of Decatur, Georgia
“I’m not afraid of cancer. Cancer should be afraid of me.” Beth Borden-Goodman has an alter ego -The Premiere Pink Diva – a joyful, confident conqueror who inspires the same. Beth is the former president of the Atlanta chapter of The Sisters Network, an African American breast cancer support organization. Her creative fundraising efforts, such as Pretty in Pink Breast Cancer Makeovers have garnered publicity for breast cancer awareness through local and national print and television media.

Kim Sport of New Orleans, Louisiana
Imagine being told you have breast cancer not once, not twice, but three times. It happened to Kim Sport, but she decided to fight. This petite but very tough lawyer from Louisiana resurrected an often overlooked law on the books that can benefit all breast reconstruction patients in the state of Louisiana and founded the charity aptly named Breastoration. It’s a philanthropic partnership to assist and educate women contemplating surgical options following a diagnosis of breast cancer. A program of the Cancer Association of Greater New Orleans, Breastoration provides educational resources to empower women nationwide at risk for, or diagnosed with, breast cancer.

About ASPS

The American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) is the world’s largest organization of board-certified plastic surgeons. Representing more than 7,000 Member Surgeons, the Society is recognized as a leading authority and information source on aesthetic and reconstructive plastic surgery. ASPS comprises more than 94 percent of all board-certified plastic surgeons in the United States. Founded in 1931, the Society represents physicians certified by The American Board of Plastic Surgery or The Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Canada. ASPS advances quality care to plastic surgery patients by encouraging high standards of training, ethics, physician practice and research in plastic surgery. You can learn more and visit the American Society of Plastic Surgeons at PlasticSurgery.org or Facebook.com/PlasticSurgeryASPS and Twitter.com/ASPS_News.